Psychological abuse or emotional abuse does not usually occur in the relationship at beginning of relationship and cannot be confidently recognize. The vast majority of people living in a relationship where psychological violence appeared agree that their counterparts previously did not exhibit any negative personal signs. Most of them did not notice any small signs that might suggest future problems, or they did not give them such weight. Over time, however there is a worsening of the situation.
At the beginning of psychological abuse is usually great care and protectiveness of the other person that is why this trap looks at the beginning very tempting and attractive. Who would not want to be loved and cherished?
Psychological abuse is the worst recognizable, but it is most prevalent. Such abuse includes active and passive components. Active lies in targeted, deliberate, and purposeful behaviour, passive component is on the contrary, that we lack something that we should be getting. The ultimate consequence could be the emotional deprivation.
What is emotional - psychological abuse?
Psychological abuse can manifest itself at different levels. It may occur as in verbal form with the aim to degrade someone’s self-confidence. It often includes the insults and profanities, repeated humiliation of the other person, deprecation of the opposite person and conscious displaying him or her in stressful situations, for example in resolving domestic conflicts. The psychological abuse belongs also emotional blackmailing, disparagement and undermining the confidence of the other person. For psychological abuse, we also consider putting unrealistic demands on a child.
Such psychological abuses are often preceded by emotional neglect or even both forms combine or alternate each other.
The psychological abuse is often tend individuals who lack education and social status, because it needs a certain amount of intelligence. The motive is an effort to take control over a partner, to control what he or she does, with whom she or he spends time, and where he or she is. Usually this person claims that he/she cares only about the good of the other person and wishes him the very best.
Psychological abuse of women
Psychological abuse often takes place behind closed doors within the home. It usually has a form of intimidation, humiliation, but also ridiculing of a partner. Some men insist that their partner will request approval for all of her actions, often they forbid her to socialize with friends or family. The psychological abuse occurs slowly and gradually and for this reason is woman unable to recognize it in early stages. Her perceptiveness is then undermined by successive attacks and leads to her adaptation to the man's demands and views. As part of the survival strategy this woman begins adapt to her partner in all aspects. She starts to find faults on herself, and she is desperately trying to prevent further terror. The result of such behaviour, however, is the tendency to self-blame, despair, shame and depression and prolonged depressions.
Psychological violence of children
The psychological violence against children occurs most often by experts in case of breakdown of a relationship of parents when starts the arguments about with whom the child will live, with who the child may or may not continue to meet. In such a situation is children manipulated to incline into one or the other side and becomes the centre of arguments of parents. One of the signs of psychological abuse of children is also putting unreasonable demands on a child - at the child’s school performances, sport results and achievements and so on.
Psychological abuse of parents
There are also cases when children mistreat their own aging parents. Overall, it appears in our society disrespect to older people as one of the phenomena of our time. Not only their children and grandchildren, but also sometimes a homeowner or neighbours abuse lonely elderly people. Lonely elderly people in big cities do not live very easily and people around them may not register their difficulties at all.
Emotional abuse of parents or grandparents by their own children and grandchildren has very different forms and depends mainly on the purpose of what they want by their behaviour achieve. It may be money from the pension, apartment or savings or simply unwillingness to take care of their own parents. Then psychological abuse includes ridicule, insults or marginalization and abandonment of the old man.
Improvement of the situation without professional help usually does not happen
To the psychological violence in a relationship often tend morbid and jealous persons. To improvement of the situation usually does not occur spontaneously, even in the case where the counterpart partner promises that the situation will get better. These persons most often repeat promises and improvement does not come. If this situation is not treated directly and conditions are not tackled, then it is unlikely that this behaviour of abusive persons will ceased. The only thing that leads to their reassure them is that they will force you to behave as they wished, therefore, that you would fully go along and submit of their - often completely nonsensical - demands. At the moment, when you go along, psychological abuse will become more intense.
Tyrant's demands are intensifying and if you must obey his orders, then you risk that you begin to manifest the various mental problems. People who are exposed to psychological terror live in constant stress, they fear what will happen when they do not come on time, if they obey all demands, and they also think about every little thing, they must explain everything. They are afraid of hysterical scenes, fights, embarrassment in front of other people. Peaceful and contented life is thus completely eliminated. Psychic discomfort can lead to depression, disillusionment, resignation, and loss of hope for improvement. These people sorrow and they assess their life as completely wrong.
Either situation of jealous person and tyrant is often not very easy. This person requires devotion and love precisely because he feels that he does not receive them, they inwardly feels parched. Their selfish tyranny starts often precisely because his fear of pain and disappointment is huge. They are afraid of rejection, infidelity and the fact that perhaps someone else could be better than they are. The solution is to seek professional help. If you live with such a man or woman in a relationship or in the household, then think about whether it is not better to leave the relationship, if there is no hope for treatment.
Retreating tyrant is a way to hell
In short term, it might help. If you step back, you meet unreasonable request of jealous person, and suddenly you have at least shortly quiet. However, unfortunately it is does not solve the situation. Jealous person wants by their arguments and with his behaviour to get a feeling of superiority and domination, security and love. The more you retreat and actually give him what he wants, the more he will behave coercively. Do not fulfil his irrational demands in any case in an exaggerated degree, you will get up in clutching the vicious circle.
Dividing of psychological abuse
Some authors divide psychological abuse into four different categories while they can coexist and mingle. The psychological abuse can occur among adults, but the victim of psychological abuse may be a child.
- Refusing: the suffering persons are in different ways indicated or it is to them openly made clear that they are not desirable, they are unwanted, that they are worth nothing, that their presence is not wanted.
- Ignore: these persons are not responding to the needs of the other, they do not express their feelings, they lack of affection, even if they have existing emotional relationship. At such a moment is a counterpart or parent physically present but emotionally unavailable.
- Terror, psychic attacks: these persons openly ridicule, manifest negative relationship, penalties, demands senseless or inadequate requirements, threaten.
- Isolation: these people prevent their counterpart to contact with their coevals or friends, family, they force them to inadequate spend their leisure time.
How to find out that your partner is psychological abuse?
Psychological abuse can be identified by the fact that he intervenes your life where he is not supposed to do so. Such interventions are long-term and their intensity increases.
It is known that people who were abused themselves in childhood or neglected tend to behave similarly in adulthood. Many of these people do not realize that they behave just as their parents or former partners behaved toward them. They are unknowingly also looking for someone who would replace them the missing love and care.
Psychological violence can take many forms. Among the most noticeable are:
- Shouting and swearing
- Ridicule, scorn or repeated outburst
- Repudiation, rejection, ignoring the others
- Continuous comparison with other
- Failure to respect privacy
- Overloading and unrealistic demands
- Violent isolation
- Lack of interest, not showing emotion
- Excessive care about protecting
- Emotional abuse can sometimes hide behind the originally positively intentioned acts
How to help psychologically abused person
Living with constant emotional abuse and under psychological pressure is living in a vicious circle, which is filled with doubt, fear, and uncertainty. Psychologically abused person will begin in a coming time miss the confidence, determination and stability. If someone in your neighbourhood is exposed to emotional abuse, then what we can provide is emotional support, the possibility to share a problem, consolation, and assistance. However, especially important is that the persons will be active and will be able to admit they have a problem that needs to be solved. Very often, however, psychological abused people are afraid to make a decisive step. Convince someone who believes neither himself nor his surroundings, is extremely complex and difficult. You will help with your patience, consistency, and confidence. Do not trifle situation, do not trivialize, or do not reject to help the other in this difficult situation. Many of victims hide their situation from the people around them. Exhaustion from the constant stress can be caused by helplessness of the situation. The victim is without energy and lives in perpetual anxiety.
Because the victim undergoes the repeated and multiple psychological violence, repeated insults and lowering self-esteem, it is quite likely that in addition they can develop symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder. They sometimes appear in the form of delayed psychosomatic problems or flashbacks long after solving the problem.
Defence, which the victim often chooses to be able to ever manage to live under such a pressure of violence, is dissociation. They separate bearable experience from the unbearable experience, and they filter off and forget to be able at least feel partly protect against internal pain. They may turn they aggression against themselves and decide to escape the unbearable pressure by committing suicide.
Is there a solution to psychological abuse?
Attempting to leave the common household or defy to the psychological violence can lead aggressor to use physical assault. They are trying to escalate provocations, so that the victim made a mistake. They are trying to multiply their feeling of guilt. If the victims manage to escape, they have often still far from won, the aggressors influence them over through relations that have yet available. The victim is often wishes to build a new life and get support than to punish the perpetrators of violence.
Victim of any form of domestic violence have possibility ask for help in intervention centres, help lines, counselling centres or in asylum shelter. In the event of acute danger, they can call police or emergency medical services. In this situation, is for victim most important physical and mental support. Most importantly, the victims must realize that they are not responsible for the abuse and that it is not their fault. It may take quite some time before the victim picks up the courage to leave her partner, so the aid should not be conditional upon a time. The victims must know that they will get the help, whether they stay in the same household or not.