Any addiction on anything includes complications, in worse cases even further problems and obstacles, loss of freedom or our own personality. Addiction to a partner is not as unusual as it may seem. It is fairly possible that you think that only women can be addicted to their partners, but do not be fooled. A man can be addicted to his partner as easily. Usually, it is an emotional addiction, but there are also cases of existential, financial or sexual addiction.
In any case, the saying "Moderation in all things" applies also to relationships or marital cohabitation. Such loyalty to one's partner may seem pleasant and nice but this only goes to a certain extent. Each one of us should beware of this excessive love becoming unhealthy loyalty and addiction eventually. It is logical that if you want things to go smoothly at home, it is always necessary to adapt to your partner a little bit. We adapt to each other in issues of the daily routine, life habits, our leisure, etc. But it should always apply that each of the partner should make a partial compromise and go meet the other partner half way. However, situations where one of the partners begins to adapt excessively are hardly rare. It all begins fairly innocuously, with small compromises, but it may end up extremely, e.g. with a complete make-over of one's life rhythm and abandonment of friends and hobbies.
This sort of compromise is made by many partners, men or women, because they want a perfect relationship, but the result is often the very opposite of that they sought. Excessive addiction to the partner usually leads to break-up. The other partner will sooner or later become feeling smothered by the love of the addicted partner. Moreover, if the couple really breaks up in the end, it often happens that the adaptable partner perceives the loss of their partner intensely and it may take a long time for them to re-establish their own life or a new relationship.
How to Think About Yourself and Love Yourself
- Take the time you have only for yourself as a gift, an opportunity to do whatever you like best. Go to the sweetshop, hit the gym, read a great book - do whatever floats your boat and makes your day.
- Remember to spoil and pamper both your mind and your body. When you feel well mentally and physically, everything will go better for you and you will feel happier - not only in your relationship.
- Make your house or flat a place you are happy to return to. An oasis of peace where you will feel at ease and find relaxation.
- Men should regularly enjoy parties with other men and women with women, even in periods you are freshly in love. Such parties are fun in any age and they are the perfect relaxation activity.
- Always have some money on your own. Even if you share a budget, each of the partners should have their own money for their hobbies, fancies and leisure so they don't have to ask their partner for money for new shoes or a dinner at a restaurant.
- Listen to your own desires, fancies and ideas. If you want to go for a walk but your partner doesn't, set off on your own, no hard feelings.
- Find a job you like. Many of us spend most of their week at work and unhappiness in this area may lead to a personal crisis reflected into the relationship.
- As soon as you feel something is happening against your will, don't be afraid to speak up and find a solution that will suit both sides. The loving partner will surely understand you don't feel like visiting the relatives or having a romantic dinner today.
- Under all circumstances, maintain your internal freedom. Don't let anyone enslave you, not even with their love-crazed mind.
- Remind yourself of these rules from time to time and check if you really stick to them.
Emotional Addiction to Your Partner and How to Get Rid of It
There are various symptoms to emotional addiction. Usually people who have become addicted to their partner emotionally do not meet with their friends too much and don't socialize because their life is mostly about their partner or their job. They live in constant fear that their partner will leave them and they will be alone forever.
Emotionally addicted partners also have the need to check on their partner. They frequently call them, text them, they want to know where they are and what they are doing. They don't do it because they are evil or because they want to annoy or bother the partner. They just feel lonely and sad without any mental connection with their partner. However, it is greatly liberating to rid yourself of such emotional addiction to your partner. The less you fear the loss, the happier you are and the more you enjoy your relationship in a positive way.
If you feel that you might be addicted to your partner and you want to rid of the addiction, we have some tips for you. Start going out much more often, renew contact with your old friends or form new ones. Build a social group outside of your relationship. Do sports, educate yourself, make your ideas come true and find new hobbies.
Some people are addicted to their partners or other people because they suffer from some mental problems. They may know about them, but they also may have no idea. In such case, the tips we offer won't work and such a person should seek professional help. Try to find causes of your addiction to the partner and fear of loneliness with a professional therapist. The reason usually is that these people come from dysfunctional families and they carry the bad habits they took from their parents further into their own adulthood. These habits consequently complicate their lives and the people are unable to help themselves.
Sometimes It Is the Partner Who Creates the Emotional Addiction
There are even partnerships where emotional addiction is created and maintained directly by one of the partners. They do it because the care and fear of the partner tickle their ego and satisfy them. If you feel that this is happening in your relationship, it is vital you talk things through thoroughly. Tell your partner you want to do your own things and be independent, that you don't wish to be addicted like this. But at the same time, remind your partner that that doesn't mean you don't love them anymore or that you want to break up. Emphasize the positives of getting rid of emotional addiction - you will both be happier, more content and it can only help your relationship in the future.
How Can You Tell If Your Partner Is Addicted to You?
It is not that simple to recognize an emotional addiction in the first stage. The first romantic being in love and obsession may seem adorable to the partner; however, it may change into an insufferable trap over time. A child scarred by problematic relationship and a dysfunctional family in the childhood or adolescence may grow up into an adult who is addicted on mental pain and unhealthy relationships. Such a person may be attracted to people who abuse them emotionally or are unavailable to them. Relationships are a painful matter for an emotionally addicted person, and so it happens sometimes that such a person spends much more time imagining and dreaming about a perfect relationship than by being in a real one.
Addiction to Your Partner - Symptoms
- Your partner will do everything you say. He/She fully adapts to your demands and requirements.
- He/She believes that you are the best thing that has ever happened to them and that you know best in every way. He/She lives your life and not their own.
- He/She is jealous, suspects infidelity, does not trust you, controls you. Jealousy is usually masked fear of losing the partner..
- He/She limits your freedom. He/She sacrifices their friends and hobbies for you and demands the same from you.
- He/She always wants to have control over what you are doing. He/She checks your phone, computer, pockets...
- He/She is unable to live with himself/herself. He/She is afraid that if you leave them, their life will be terrible.
- He/She manipulates you and tries to blackmail you emotionally. He/She threatens with self-mutilation or even suicide.
- He/She maintains you in guilt, hopelessness or fear for them. This can all be exhausting.
How to Work on Yourself and Get Rid of Your Addiction to Your Partner
1. Try to Prevent It
If you already have an idea on what this emotional addiction may look like and how it manifests, try to prevent it. We are all able to stop at a certain point and realise what is happening and take some counter-measures to prevent the addiction from developing.
2. Recognize Your Addiction
You can't admit or imagine you would break up with your partner. (This also applies in other relationships - family, friends, etc.) The presence of these people is so important and essential for you, that you think about them all the time, you call them, text them. It's half a success to recognize your addiction.
3. Decide for a Solution
If you recognized your emotional addiction, it is mainly important to start thinking right. Firmly decide that you want to deal with the situation. Keep reminding yourself you want to be free again. It is not necessary to get rid of the person, but of the feeling you cannot be without them. Although it makes things a little easier if you won't see this person you love too much for a while.
4. Start Fighting the Stereotype
Do anything reasonable to make your life different from now. Go for a walk or to a restaurant, to places you haven't been before, go to work using a different route than yesterday, call someone you haven't seen in a while - just do something differently. They don't say that "life is a change" for nothing.
5. Educate Yourself
It is an addiction as any other addiction. Find information to help you fight it.